Feast of St Thomas, Apostle

Gospel 

John 20:24-29

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve,
was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.”
But Thomas said to them,
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands
and put my finger into the nailmarks
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
Now a week later his disciples were again inside
and Thomas was with them.
Jesus came, although the doors were locked,
and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands,
and bring your hand and put it into my side,
and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”
Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?
Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

 

I always wonder where Thomas was when the others were in the upper room when the resurrected Christ first appeared to them.

 

Did he return to his life before Jesus? I don’t think so. I think they all were eternally changed by their years with Jesus.  I think he sought solitude in grief. He went away by himself to mourn and seek understanding for he knew this could not be the end. But he looked at the events and could not find how reality fit with what he knew of Jesus. Did love fail? Was it all for nothing? He knew in his heart this wasn’t true, but he could not get past the fact that he had died.

 

So, when he was told that Jesus had risen, he wanted to believe but his heart was broken at the death of Jesus and he did not want to renew that pain by being disappointed in words from another that held promise of a resurrection.

 

That is where Thomas was as he went to the room they were in and waited for Jesus to return.

 

Sometimes we can be this way. We have heard the wonderful, good news of Jesus. How he changes lives and blesses believers with his love and peace and joy and turns lives headed no where to lives with purpose and value and truth guiding their direction through struggle and change.

 

Sometimes we can want to believe but our weak minds that know only of this world, struggle to let go of this world and offer to Jesus everything here so we can have everything in heaven.

 

We don’t want to be disappointed. We want to believe. We want to embrace the eternal love offered, but we continue to hold on with a tight grip the limited and impotent things of this world.

 

Let us ask today, what does God want to do with our life?

 

What do we need to let go of?

 

Jesus did rise from the dead and he did come to earth to be one of us out of love for us. It’s true we are loved beyond our imagination. Who we are right now. Loved and cherished and wanted.

We only have to ask his help to let go and allow his graces to fill us and let the Holy Spirit guide us to the life we were meant to live.

We just need to ask, “what does God want me to do with my life?”